Things I like that are a little bit evil

My roommate recently told me she hates Martha Stewart "because she has taken something I love [cooking, entertaining] and made it packaged and commercial... and she has scary eyes." Huh. I once hated Martha too, back when her first rush of popularity prompted my mom to spray-paint all our holiday wreaths gold and silver and run matching ribbons down the Christmas tree -- sacrelige! But that all passed, and now I kind of like Martha. She publishes one of my favorite magazines. She sells cheap home goods at K-Mart. And, most of all, she gets hilariously angry at the guests on her talk show, making them visibly alarmed. Love her!

But it's not just you, Martha. I have a special place in my heart for all manner of slightly evil things.


In addition to Martha....



there's the Yankees...




Caleb Nichol...



...and Julie Cooper-Nichol, too


Clive Owen in Closer...



Drug lords that are also priests (ex: Mr. Eko)...



US Weekly...




...and last, but never least, bacon.



Slightly evil is just a little more fun. We're Sage Advice. And we're for (slightly) evil.

Here's something else

Sure, you've done a Google search of your name. But have you ever done a Google Image search of your name?

I know, right?!

OK, it's officially past my Monday night bedtime.

Worst blogger ever

I haven't been dispensing much Sage Advice lately. Tis sad, I know, for all seven of my loyal readers (plus those mystery weirdos - love ya!).

Until then, contemplate the fabulosity that is Johnny Weir and his Vuitton:




...and read about how Rebecca, resourceful in her latchkey youth, used to rinse spinach in the spin cycle. Aww!

Free thought association

Been slacking on the blog for the past week. Here's the extremely short version of everything I thought about posting.

- Michelle Kwan, you are breaking my heart. But shake it off, girl -- the medals are ugly this year anyway.

- How cute is Shaun White?

- The proper way to walk through slush is to tread lightly. Never, ever run through slush with plunging steps; it is good for nobody. You will splash yourself and everyone around you.

- Side note: Chelsea/Flatiron district might be the most hellishly slushy part of Manhattan. Thoughts?

- Valentine's Day is kind of silly, but I do like chocolate samplers.

- Making fun of Valentine's Day is much more fun than celebrating it. Therefore, I'm puh-syched that I'm going to see the Mortified anti-V-day show tomorrow.

- Book clubs are mean to Curtis Sittenfeld! I haven't read her book, but this seems like shocking rudeness. I think my own book club would be totally nice to her even if we hated the book, and offer her wine and cheese and Tipton salsa. We're cool like that.

- Five words: Sweet and Salty Chex Mix. Try it. You won't be sorry.

- Saturday afternoon I went into Sotto Voce for brunch, and they sat us next to a table of six early twenty-something girls who were clearly doing the "I cannot conceive of having weekend brunch in New York without inviting every girl who I was friends with in college, just like the good ol' days back in the caf" thing (a stage which I conveniently skipped, since I knew all of two people when I moved here). So anyway, I noticed their chairs were draped with an array of Gap and J. Crew peacoats, and thought to myself "ha, these girls look like they just stepped off the airport shuttle from [my college]." And then they got up to leave, and I noticed that at least one of them WAS, in fact, from my college, and had graduated just last spring seeing as they were freshmen while I was a senior. The dual points of this seemingly pointless tale being, a) The next generation is invading Brooklyn! and b) We are old.

- If you're smart, you'll avoid Times Square (even more than usual) tomorrow and Thursday. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Superfun Death-o-meter!

Pat Kiernan informed me over my Kashi oatmeal this morning that today's New York Post contains a semi-scientific death calculator (which the Post instructively uses on Paris Hilton). So of course I went and looked it up as soon as I got to work. As it turns out, I am set to live to the ripe old age of

113.5


...which seems a bit generous even for a non-slutty female Scrabble enthusiast such as myself, but I trust that I'm still looking forward to at least a few Paris Hilton-free decades on this earth.

Brooklyn parrots!

It was shaping up to be a rather dreary Monday until I received this lovely link in my inbox...



...and was reminded that a flock of wild parrots roams Brooklyn. Rock!

I've spotted the parrots myself, while taking a Halloween tour of Greenwood Cemetery a couple years ago. There are a few that nest in the big Gothic arch there. Our cemetery tour guide pointed them out and related the prevailing parrot legend: a shipment of the birds arrived at JFK, they escaped, and the rest is history.

Anyway, excellent Brooklyn lore website.

Do I know it's Super Bowl time at all?

Kids, come here and sit down, will you? We're going to have a family meeting. Now, I don't want any tears, so just listen while I explain. We're not going to be celebrating the Super Bowl this year. Just -- now, hold on a minute -- I just had a conversation with the Super Bowl Fairy, and she's very sorry, but she's not going to be stopping at our house. It isn't on her route this winter. She has a lot of commercials and halftime shows and flashed nipples to deliver to all the other boys and girls. And we're very happy for them, aren't we?



Yeah. Going to the Jenny Lewis show instead. Woo!

I know some of you non-New Yorkers (ahem, Steph) were disappointed that Ms. Lewis wasn't coming to your city -- but she might be. More dates recently announced [via Brooklynvegan]

Brokeback Top Gun

For your Friday viewing pleasure...

Brokeback Top Gun [YouTube]

Update: Gawker just posted Brokeback to the Future.