Friday, March 31, 2006

Friday Link-o-Rama

A coworker just sent me this:
Leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama
My question is, what is he planning on doing to the leprechaun with that pipe?!


This is just way too much fun:
The Jenville Show: Cooking With Rockstars


NY Times and Godlight, sittin' in a tree:
Godlight Theater's 'Fahrenheit 451' Offers Hot Ideas for the Information Age
Torching the Library: Different Year, Same Temperature

...yes, that's TWO articles in one week! And yes I'm biased, but go see the show 'cause it's really quite good.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Gunfire in South Slope?

Riding home in a cab around 1:30 last night, we encountered a police blockade at 7th Avenue and 15th Street. We asked one of the officers (there were several milling around) what was up, and he said "Police investigation. Can't give details."

Posters on Daily Slope had some clues: Apparently there was an attempted robbery on 16th and 7th, and gunshots were fired. The suspects fled to PPW, and were caught by the police.

Here's a link to the official story on ABC news.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Train Talk

F train at 23rd Street. I select a seat in a row of three. Two seats down from me, a youngish guy reads a green paper-bound booklet that looks like a screenplay. At the next stop, a wiry little man gets on and wedges himself between us. “Excuse me.”

Screenplay dude relinquishes an inch. The newcomer settles in and repeats himself: “Excuse me.”

Is he looking at me? He is. He’s going to talk to me. Wait for it…

“You live in Park Slope. I’ve seen you a lot.”

That’s a nice one. Great opener, guy. Way to sound like a total stalker.

“I’ve seen you on this train. You usually get off at 7th Avenue.”

Really, that’s excellent. Keep going. “Yes, sometimes I do.” Screenplay dude raises his head and sneaks a sideways glance at us.

“I’ve been riding the F train for fourteen years, so I see a lot of the same people.”

I turn to face him. “Do I know you?”

I don’t say it unkindly. Still, a response like that would silence 90 percent of the population. But after nearly four years’ worth of subway riding, I’ve discovered that the leftover ten percent, that small minority, contains all of the world’s subway talkers.

“Are you an American?” Are you still talking?

“Yes, I’m from America.”

Pause. “I’m from India. I moved to New York fifteen years ago.” Smile. Nod.

“What do you do?”

Jesus. “I’m an editor.”

“Edit…?”

“An editor. I edit things.”

“Oh, an editor.” Pause. “I do photography. For advertisements and billboards.” He gestures across the car to an ad featuring Derek Jeter. “Like that. We just did an Estee Lauder. I’ve been doing it for fourteen years.”

“You must enjoy it, then.” And here’s where I start thinking, why won’t I talk to this guy? Is he being creepy -- or am I just being rude? I’m coming from the International Center, where I just spent the past two hours as an English conversation partner – in essence, I volunteer my time each week to talk to complete strangers. And yet, I can’t spare more than a few words for Mr. Creepy here. What’s wrong with me? He’s probably just a lonely, friendly guy.

Whatever. He’s lived here for fifteen years. He must have some friends above ground.

He’s silent for a while, and I think he’s gotten the picture. Then he leans over. “Can I ask you just one question?”

Oh shit. Here it comes.

“Are you single?”

“Yes.” Wait! He didn’t say Are you seeing anyone; he said Are you single! “No, I’m not. No. I’m not.” Now I sound like a big liar. Again, something that would discourage 90 percent of the population. Mr. Creepy nods with an odd smile on his face, then falls silent.

Jay Street. Screenplay dude gets up and moves across the car, but Mr. Creepy stays the course in the middle seat, right next to me. Are you kidding? Everyone knows you’re supposed to move over and vacate the middle seat when the person on the end gets up. It’s an unwritten yet universally known law of subway riding.

Screenplay dude gets off at Bergen Street. After Carroll, Mr. Creepy turns to me again. “Can we be friends?”

“Yes.” Thin-lipped smile.

Pause. “Can I call you sometime?”

“No, I’m afraid not.”

“I could give you my number, and you could call me.”

“I’m sorry.”

Creepy falls silent again. Now we’re approaching 7th Avenue. Should I get off, or wait til 15th Street? What is he going to do?

The train stops at 7th, and Creepy doesn’t move a muscle. Perfect. I employ the age-old method for escaping subway creeps, whether they be talkers, leerers, drunken name-callers or otherwise: Act nonchalant before your stop, and don’t make any motions indicating your departure – no closing of books, no zipping of bags, no putting on of hats or gloves. You wait until the train stops and the doors open. Sit there for a couple seconds, then, right before the doors start to close, get up and make a calm exit. Your subway creep will be caught off guard and won’t be able to follow – or else hurry after you and risk looking like the creep he quite possibly is (I’ve never seen a subway creep do this).

When I’m halfway down the platform, I glance over my shoulder. No Mr. Creepy. He’s riding off into the tunnel, en route to who knows what, looking for someone else to talk to on the long ride home.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Balls and My Word

Today I spent a good 45 minutes of company time at batting practice with my corporate softball homies. Indoors. In a conference room.

Sometimes I love my job!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

TJ's inspires love, trepidation

K: But NEXT Friday....
Green beer is great and all, but the real reason to celebrate is the OPENING OF TRADER JOE'S IN MANHATTAN!!!!!!

R: I know! seriously, my office is abuzz about this!

S: Funny--I almost went down there just now to see if it had opened yet--but then I got lazy. Celebrations there will be. Mmm--best gnocchi brand ever.

MTL: Best TRAIL MIX ever!! Really, I should expand that to Best Packaged Snacks that Pretend to be Good for You Ever!!
I do so love Trader Joe's. But I think I might be scared to go there for a while because of the swarms of people that will pick the shelves bare.
We should have one in each borough to minimize the insanity.

R: Only in a perfect world.
I bet even when you think there will be no insanity, there will be insanity.

Karaoke juice

Oh, the things one finds in Chinatown: most recently, liquid green crack in a cup. We stopped into a tea room looking for a pre-karaoke pick-me-up, and ordered what we (or I, at least) thought was going to be regular black, herbal and green teas. Sarah's was the sweetest-tasting, and purplish-grey in hue. Rebecca's was the exact color and taste of an apple Jolly Rancher. I ordered a matcha green tea and it arrived milky green with tiny gelatin cubes at the bottom. I wish I'd thought to take a picture of it, but here's an approximation:



We each ordered jumbo pots because hey, we had over an hour to kill. Sip and talk, sip and talk. Within a quarter-hour, we were all wide-eyed and jittery, tapping our feet and yammering loudly about our cats.

Even though the sweet taste made our teeth hurt, it was the perfect prelude to a night out. I didn't even fall asleep and drool in the cab on the way home. But I did toss and turn all night (very rare for me), and at one point had a dream that all my female friends were having a writers' retreat in an old Victorian home, and I awoke at 4:30AM with a brilliant idea for a novel, which I really wish I could recall right now. I do know that it was about Sarah, but I was going to disguise that fact by calling her character "Allison." Clever! Four and a half hours later, I lay in bed with eyes wide open thinking, "I should use all this energy to go to the gym. I could just get up and go to the gym right now. Wait, is the gym even open this early?!"

I mean, this is TEA. This is why I don't party Lohan-style.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Ohioans sometimes get it right

From this week's Cleveland Scene:

If a bill proposed last week by Senator Robert Hagan (D-Youngstown) passes, Republicans in Ohio will be barred from adopting children.

If it sounds like a joke, it's meant to be, but Hagan went so far as to ask fellow senators to co-sponsor it. "I'm serious enough that I ran it through the process," he says.

The stunt is a response to Republican legislation that seeks to ban gays from adopting, an idea Hagan calls "homophobic and immature."

The decision to target gays is particularly weird given that the state has 2,784 children awaiting adoption and another 19,430 in foster care, Hagan says. "I have no empirical or scientific evidence that Republicans are less able to raise a child, just as they have no scientific evidence that gays are less able to raise a child."