Get out of my gym: A public service announcement

New Year's resolutions are great, aren't they? A whole new year and a fresh start at joining a gym and working all that junk out of your trunk. Aww. That would be really charming and admirable if you were actually going to stick to your resolution past February. But you're not -- you just don't have the willpower -- and in the meantime, you're taking up space on the elliptical trainer.

We all have to start somewhere, and I applaud anyone who makes a commitment to developing even a modicum of physical fitness. I gorged myself during the holidays, too, and the need to work it off is strong. But if you won't be here in March, June or September too, do us all a favor and don't use all the towels in the locker room. Think instead of the time you could be spending at home. I'm sure your couch misses you.

And "I don't know where the paper towels are" is not a valid excuse for not wiping down your machine. Find them. I'll wait while you do it.

Sheesh.